Give them the honour they definitely don’t deserve.
Type their name. Pick their ridiculous speciality. Watch the certificate write itself.
Meridian College Oxford
hereby confers upon
James Whitaker
the wholly undeserved distinction of
Honorary Award in Advanced Bullshitting
For thirty unbroken years of confident nonsense.
Given this 2nd day of November, 2026
J. Hartwell Dean of Undeserved Honours
R. Calloway
Registrar
No. 2026-04817 Novelty award — for entertainment purposes only
This is the actual certificate. It changes as you type.
- Can be sent anonymously
- Premium frame included
- Free delivery
- Dispatched in 3 working days
A personalised novelty gift created purely for entertainment. Not an academic qualification or recognised degree.
It turns up looking like it cost a great deal more than it did
That is the entire joke. The certificate is deadly serious. The subject is completely ridiculous.
-
Heavyweight parchment
Textured 300gsm stock with a genuine weight to it, not photocopier paper in a clip frame.
-
Gold-effect embossed seal
Pressed, not printed. It catches the light when they tilt it, which they will.
Meridian College Oxford
hereby confers upon
James Whitaker
the wholly undeserved distinction of
Honorary Award in Advanced Bullshitting
For thirty unbroken years of confident nonsense, delivered without a single supporting fact.
Given this 2nd day of November, 2026
J. Hartwell Dean of Undeserved Honours
R. Calloway
Registrar
No. MCO-2026-04817 Novelty award — for entertainment purposes only
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Premium wooden frame
Walnut, black or light oak. Glazed, backed and ready to hang the moment they open it.
-
Uniquely numbered
Every certificate carries its own reference. Nobody else has theirs.
Browse by faculty
90 honours, none of which anybody has earned.
Meridian College Oxford
hereby confers upon
Their name
the wholly undeserved distinction of
Honorary Award in Advanced Bullshitting
Given this 2nd day of November, 2026
J. Hartwell Dean of Undeserved Honours
R. Calloway
Registrar
Novelty award — for entertainment purposes only
For Him
Honours for the man who has achieved nothing of note, magnificently.
15 honours
Meridian College Oxford
hereby confers upon
Their name
the wholly undeserved distinction of
Honorary Award in Retail Therapy
Given this 2nd day of November, 2026
J. Hartwell Dean of Undeserved Honours
R. Calloway
Registrar
Novelty award — for entertainment purposes only
For Her
Honours for the woman who deserves recognition, just not for this.
15 honours
Meridian College Oxford
hereby confers upon
Their name
the wholly undeserved distinction of
Honorary Award in Winning Every Argument
Given this 2nd day of November, 2026
J. Hartwell Dean of Undeserved Honours
R. Calloway
Registrar
Novelty award — for entertainment purposes only
Couples
The distinctions earned across years of shared domestic warfare.
15 honours
Meridian College Oxford
hereby confers upon
Their name
the wholly undeserved distinction of
Honorary Award in Meeting Avoidance
Given this 2nd day of November, 2026
J. Hartwell Dean of Undeserved Honours
R. Calloway
Registrar
Novelty award — for entertainment purposes only
Work & Retirement
For colleagues leaving, and for those who never really arrived.
15 honours
Meridian College Oxford
hereby confers upon
Their name
the wholly undeserved distinction of
Honorary Award in Christmas Jumper Excellence
Given this 2nd day of November, 2026
J. Hartwell Dean of Undeserved Honours
R. Calloway
Registrar
Novelty award — for entertainment purposes only
Christmas
For everyone who has survived another Christmas, and several who very nearly did not.
15 honours
Meridian College Oxford
hereby confers upon
Their name
the wholly undeserved distinction of
Honorary Award in Advanced Masturbatory Studies
Given this 2nd day of November, 2026
J. Hartwell Dean of Undeserved Honours
R. Calloway
Registrar
Novelty award — for entertainment purposes only
The Rude Collection18+
Cheekier honours for stag dos, hen parties and friends who deserve worse.
15 honoursWrite your own
Can’t find the perfect one? Invent the award yourself and watch it appear on the certificate as you type.
Same $24.99Complete their graduation
Matching pieces printed with the same name and honour. Added at the next step, with nothing more to pay for delivery.
Matching personalised mug
Their certificate design and name printed onto a premium mug.
$19.00
Pair of personalised mugs
Two matching mugs — made for couples and office honours.
$32.00
Meridian graduate mug
Collegiate-style mug with their name and comedy specialism.
$19.00
Embroidered cap
Meridian crest on the front, optional personalised wording on the back.
$26.00
Gold desk plaque
Their name and honour on a weighted gold-effect desk plaque.
$39.99
Personalised t-shirt
Their crest, their name and their ridiculous honour, printed on a premium cotton tee.
$24.99Four steps to an undeserved honour
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1
Choose their speciality
Pick from the collection, or invent something only the two of you would understand.
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2
Write it your way
Their name, the date, and a dedication underneath if you want one.
-
3
We make the thing
Printed, sealed, numbered and framed by hand within 3 working days.
-
4
Hand it over, stand back
Then enjoy watching them explain it to absolutely everybody.
Whatever they’ve survived this year
Birthdays, retirements, stag dos and the office Secret Santa.
Somebody in your life has mastered something completely useless.
Make it official.